Tremendous bit of news to start: I moved to the most beautiful place on Earth! I am now living in the stunning and mind-blowing Pacific Northwest city of Vancouver!
Getting here, mind you, has been a challenging exercise, and the city hasn’t quite opened it’s great arms to my full participation yet. I’ve been applying energy in every direction I can think of; dipping my toes into a wide assortment of potential activities, tippy-toeing down myriad paths of possibility for groups and collaboration; and after 2 months, I still haven’t quite got my groove on.
The main thing, of course, is for some income. My mom and I have both been bleeding green for months now. I keep reiterating that it can’t go on like this forever, that money has to flow back to us eventually. It’s the fundamental nature of energy. It’s science. It’s truth. And yet, every day continues to show itself as another day of spending, spending, spending. Yikes! Ok. Fine. I repeat my favourite mantra; TRUST. I have to trust. Everything is being taken care of. Worrying about it will make no difference. The energy will move when it does, and not a second sooner. But it’s wearing on me – on us. And we’ve had many, many moments of anger, and disagreement, and fear, and frustration, and tears, to tangle with, then to release, discuss, and forgive. So, if nothing else, we’ve certainly been doing our spiritual work! Continuous and ongoing!
I had one job interview. Only one – but it’s a super good one – for a job I would REALLY enjoy. At a gorgeous new arts centre close to home. I don’t think I could do much better – it aligns so clearly with all the aspects of work I’d want. It finally seems that I’m ready to clear away some majorly dysfunctional divisions in my mind, and, in particular, an idea that I could have a Mc.job that paid the rent OR I could have creative work that I wanted, but never both. This idea kept me in jobs that I didn’t much like, always craving to be someplace else, but never able to get to that mythic holy land of creative fulfilment. If I created or performed, it was a hobby, enjoyable and collaborative, but short-lived, and almost always zero budget. If I earned income, it’s often been with repetitive functions, with little opportunity for creative expression or collaboration with others, and, usually, short-lived as well. You see, because I was never truly committed to either side. Both sides presented some difficulty or danger. I get money, but sell my soul – I express myself creatively, but starve to death. Jeesh!
Well, now I’m finished with all that nonsense. Now I’m simply asking for EVERYTHING I want. I want work I can approach with my WHOLE MIND. My logical, analytical, technological left brain AND my playful, creative, spontaneous right brain – all together for the first time in my life! I want to collaborate creatively with others, take responsibility for a bigger picture, use technology to organize data and create networks, and to challenge, play and evolve every day with something vivid, fresh and delightful! This word – evolution – it’s a PARTY in my mind right now – I want to EVOLVE in every direction all at ONCE!! I feel ready to push through all barriers of dualistic thinking, and move in a whole new way – EVERY WAY – ALL WAYS!
As I recently created an infographic resume (using easel.ly), I developed a motto for my work – actually – in fact, it’s more of a formula that encapsulates my recent philosophy of life. It goes like this:
care + attention = excellence
This simple formula can be applied anytime, anywhere, with any thing, person, object, goal or activity. In every way. In all ways. It will always ensure the same result. It’s science. It’s truth. It’s the formula for my life now. Income, or no income – all I need is to look around me – at the stunning creation that’s springing to existence in this marvellous city at every remarkable moment – to nod an acknowledgement to it’s shining divinity – to bow in awe at it’s unknowable, vast, tumult – it’s light-speed velocity – and remember that I am ONE with it. I can’t be left behind. When I open up, relax and go with the flow; give this moment, every moment, my full care and attention; allow myself to expand, expand, and expand some more; then the excellence of life surrounds me, invites and welcomes, and embraces me. Ahhhh….